Thoughts on shock and awe

What was shock and awe? Was it a success? Should it be used in future wars? These are all questions the US military and political leadership must ponder as they try to bash another country before the 2004 elections.

What was shock and awe? Shock and awe was multiple waves of extremely heavy, oppresive, orgasmic bombing aimed at the head of the Iraqi government. In many ways, the prewar discussions in the UN were a kind of diplomatic foreplay leading up to the world's biggest load being fired at Saddam Hussein's regime in a full scale military facial. More ordanance was dropped on Iraq at the opening of the campaign than the entire '91 Gulf War, including multiple precision strikes by massive bunker busters. This despite the US and Britan being the only major players shooting spunk this time around, unlike the multinational gang bang 12 years ago. Turkey, uncharacteriscally, denied the US rear access to Iraq after the 3rd MEU had been waiting expectantly to break through and drive hard all the way from their side. I say uncharacteristically because they rogered Lawrence of Arabia.

Was shock and awe a success? This is a more subjective question. Saddam Hussein and his regime appear to have survived shock and awe. But there is no doubt that, logistically, they received a gushing mouthful. Most Iraqi units offered little resistance, giving themselves up fully and freely to "coalition" forces. Many experts attribute willingness to the lack of communications from the regime. The statements of the Iraqi information minister as the coalition thrusted towards Baghdad also suggest the regime was blinded by the man juice of shock and awe. Vidoes released by Saddam as Baghdad fell, urging Iraq to resist the bold imperialist advances, were a last, dying moan. But it was a petty death.

Despite Saddam Hussein escaping punishment, should the US repeat this "Iraqakke" on other countries? The answer likely lies in the timing. The will of the nation may be spent at this point. Perhaps it is time for the United States to lay back and have a smoke. Afghanistan loosened the US' loins after 8 years of shooting blanks at the hands of the Clinton administration. But after Iraq, it is perhaps sensible to rest in the refractory period to build up the constitution for another prolonged campaign. We must also not forget the international community. Shunned by the tradional jism slingers France and Germany, the US was left with only it's stout but often limp-wristed ally, Britain. An inclusive international moresome would make up for any deficiency at home or in Britain.

Nonetheless, the success of the last two US actions probably means the shock and awe bangbus may be rolling into the nearest resource rich despotism by 2004.

Shock and awe won't end when North Korea or Iran are "liberated" next year. GOP leaders are hoping to harness the political portions of the campaign to shock and awe the electorate into voting for the GOP in the 2004 elections. The GOP knows what the public wants and how to give it to them, fast and with little fuss. Look for the domestic shock and awe campaign to saturate your TV screens this fall with a big gooey, spoodgy splat.

Leaked DoD shock and awe concepts for North Korea


The documents note that a "GWAR/Oderus Urungus like hanging phallus" is likely to be added to the campaign